Attachment Facilitating Parenting
Feb 21, 2010 Attachment Parenting
Many adopted and foster children have had very difficult and painful histories with their first parents. These children have experienced chronic early maltreatment within a caregiving relationship. Such a history can lead to the development of Complex Trauma (Cook et. al., 2003; Cook et. al., 2005), disorders of attachment, and Reactive Attachment Disorder. Children with histories of maltreatment, such as physical and psychological neglect, physical abuse, and sexual abuse, are at risk of developing severe psychiatric problems (Gauthier, Stollak, Messe, & Arnoff, 1996; Malinosky-Rummell & Hansen, 1993). These children are likely to develop Reactive Attachment Disorder (Greenberg, 1999; Lyons-Ruth & Jacobvitz, 1999). Approximately 2% of the population is adopted, and between 50% and 80% of such children have attachment disorder symptoms (Carlson, Cicchetti, Barnett, & Braunwald, 1995; Cicchetti, Cummings, Greenberg, & Marvin, 1990). Many of these children are violent (Robins, 1978) and aggressive (Prino & Peyrot, 1994) and as adults are at risk of developing a variety of psychological problems (Schreiber & Lyddon, 1998) and personality disorders, including antisocial personality disorder (Finzi, Cohen, Sapir, & Weizman, 2000), narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and psychopathic personality disorder (Dozier, Stovall, & Albus, 1999). Therapeutic Parenting is often necessary to help these children heal (Becker-Weidman, A., & Shell, D., 2005/2008). This approach to parenting is often not familiar to most parents and requires a significant amount of work and preparation. Attachment facilitating parenting is grounded in attachment theory and is based on a set of principles that include:
The effective implementation of these principles requires parents who:
This type of parenting is consistent with Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, which is an evidence-based and effective treatment for children with trauma and attachment disorders (Becker-Weidman & Hughes, 2008). Many foster and adoptive parents find their children’s behaviors strange, frightening, disturbing, and upsetting. They often don’t understand why their child behaves as the child does; “after all, my child is now safe, doesn’t he get it?” It can be difficult to appreciate the depth and pervasiveness of the damage caused by earlier maltreatment.
Therapeutic parenting based on Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy relies of helping parents understand what is causing the child’s behaviors. Looking deeper in order to understand what is motivating the child. All behavior is adaptive and functional; however sometimes the behaviors that were adaptive in one environment are ill-suited for the new home. If your first parents were neglectful, unreliable, and inconsistent so that you were often hungry and left alone for long periods of time, hoarding food, gorging, and going to “anyone” for help is adaptive. When that child is placed in a foster or adoptive home with caring, responsive, sensitive parents, that same behavior is no longer adaptive. By understanding what is driving the behavior and appreciating the child’s fear, anxieties, shame, and anger, the new parent will be better able to respond to the emotions driving the behavior rather than the surface behavior or symptoms. Unless the underlying emotions are addressed with sensitivity and within a safe, unconditionally loving, and supportive home, the behavior or symptoms are not likely to stop…they may change into other problems, but if the underlying cause remains, then the problems will surface again and again.
Let’s discuss the principles required. These principles are more fully elaborated elsewhere (Becker-Weidman & Shell, 2005; Becker-Weidman, 2007)
SENSITIVITY. Because children with trauma and attachment disorders are often unable to describe their internal states, emotions, or thoughts, it becomes the job of the parent to do this with and for the child so that the child learns to do this. Of course, this is precisely what one does with a newborn, toddler, and child. We often help children manage their internal states by doing that with them. When a baby cries, we pick up the baby, comfort the child, and by so doing, regulate the child’s level of arousal. Over time the infant becomes increasingly proficient at doing this independently. The parent of a foster or adopted child must be sensitive to the internal states of their child so that the parent can respond to the underlying emotions driving behavior.
RESPONSIVENESS. Once the underlying emotion is identified, the parent must respond to this need or emotion, with sensitivity. By meeting the child’s need (to feel safe, loved, cared about, for food, drink, joy, etc) the child will internalize new and healthier models of relationships and parents.
FOLLOWING THE CHILD’S LEAD. By this I mean that the parent will need to respond to the child and follow the child’s lead in the sense of providing what the child is needing (comfort, affection, support, structure, etc) and at the child’s pace. It is very important to move at the child’s pace to create the necessary sense of safety and security that these children need.
THE SHARING OF CONGRUENT INTERSUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCES. Intersubjectivity refers to shared emotion (also called attunement), share attention, and share intention. You can understand this if you think of playing a board game with your child. When you are playing some game together and enjoying the experience, you are sharing emotions (joy and a sense of competence), sharing attention (focusing on the game), and sharing intention (playing by the rules, both trying to win, having fun, etc.). Or another example, when talking about the death of the child’s loved grandparent, you both may share the same emotions (grief), both are recalling memories of the grandparent (shared intention and attention). It is the sharing of congruent intersubjective experiences, experiences in which all three elements are the shared, that helps the child heal and learn about intimacy and relationships.
CREATING A SENSE OF SAFETY AND SECURITY. Safety comes first. Unless the child is physically, emotionally, and psychologically safe, healing cannot occur. So, it is the job of the parent to create safety and security for the child. This then allows for the exploration of underlying feelings, thoughts, and memories. Without an alliance there can be no secure base. Without a secure base there can be no exploration. Without exploration there can be no integration. Without integration there can be no healing.
Unless the child feels safe, exploration is not possible.
So, what sort of parent is needed? We know form extensive research, that one of the best predictors of placement stability is the parent’s commitment to the child (Dozier, Grasso, Lindhiem, & Lewis, 2007). Therefore, building or rebuilding parental commitment is an important first step. Unless there is strong commitment, the child cannot feel safe and, as discussed above, safety is the most important first step in helping a hurt child heal.
Reflective capacity is also vital to placement stability and to the healing of adopted and foster children. The parent must be able to reflect on the child’s underlying emotions, how the past may be re-enacted in the present, and what in the parent’s own past is being triggered by the child. A well developed reflective function is necessary if the parent is to respond to the child in a healthy and healing manner. We all have buttons. The job of the therapeutic parent is to understand one’s buttons so that these can be disconnected so that when pushed, nothing happens.
Insightfulness (Koren-Karie, Oppenheim, Dolev, Sher, & Etzion-Carasso, 2002; Oppenheim, Koren-Karie, & Sagi, 2001; Oppenheim, & Koren-Karie, 2002; Oppenheim, Goldsmith, & Koren-Karie, 2005) is related to reflective capacity.
A parent’s state of mind with respect to attachment is the best predictor of the child’s. (Main, & Cassidy, 1988; Main, & Hesse, 1990). If the parent has a Secure state of mind with respect to attachment, then the adopted or foster child is more likely to develop a healthy and secure pattern of attachment and heal (Steele, Hodges, Kaniuk, Steele, Hillman, & Asquith, 2008). We know that when young children are placed in a foster home, the child will begin to develop a pattern of attachment that is the same as the foster parent’s state of mind with respect to attachment (Dozier, Stovall, Albus, & Bates, 2001). Obviously, in older children, this is a more difficult task. In the general population, about 60% of the adults have a secure state of mind with respect to attachment. For parents who have an insecure state of mind with respect to attachment, they can still learn to parent effectively with help (Becker-Weidman, A., & Shell, D., 2005/2008; Bick & Dozier, 2008).
USEFUL RESOURCES FOR PARENTS
REFERENCES
Becker-Weidman, A., & Shell, D., (Eds.) (2005, 2008). Creating Capacity for Attachment, Oklahoma City, OK: Wood N Barnes & Williamsville, NY: Center for Family Development.
Becker-Weidman, A., (2007). Principles of Attachment Parenting. 3-set DVD. Williamsville, NY: Center for Family Development.
Becker-Weidman, A., & Hughes, D., (2008) “Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy: An evidence-based treatment for children with complex trauma and disorders of attachment,” Child & Adolescent Social Work, 13, pp.329-337.
Bick, J., & Dozier, M., (2008). Helping Foster Parents Change. In H. Steele & M. Steele (Eds.), Clinical Applications of the Adult Attachment Interview (pp. 452-471). NY: Guilford.
Carlson, V., Cicchetti, D., Barnett, D., & Braunwald, K. (1995). Finding order in disorganization: Lessons from research on maltreated infants’ attachments to their caregivers. In D. Cicchetti & V. Carlson (Eds.), Child maltreatment: Theory and research on the causes and consequences of child abuse and neglect (pp. 135–157). NY: Cambridge University Press.
Cicchetti, D., Cummings, E. M., Greenberg, M. T., & Marvin, R. S. (1990). An organizational perspective on attachment beyond infancy. In M. Greenberg, D. Cicchetti & M. Cummings (Eds.), Attachment in the preschool years (pp. 3–50). Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Cook, A., Blaustein, M., Spinazolla, J. & van der Kolk, B. (2003) Complex Trauma in Children and Adolescents. White Paper from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network Complex Trauma Task Force. National Center for Child Traumatic Stress, Los Angeles, CA.
Cook, A., Spinazzola, J., Ford, J., Lanktree, C., Blaustein, M., Cloitre, M. et al. (2005) Complex trauma in children and adolescents. Psychiatric Annals, 35, 390–398.
Dozier, M., Stovall, K., Albus, K., & Bates, B. (2001). Attachment for infants in foster care: The role of caregiver state of mind. Child Development, 72, 1467-1477.
Dozier, M., Grasso, D., Lindhiem, O., & Lewis, E., (2007) “The role of caregiver commitment in foster care,” in D. Oppenheim & D. Goldsmith, (Eds.) Attachment Theory in Clinical Work with Children. NY: Guilford.
Dozier, M., Stovall, K. C., & Albus, K. (1999). Attachment and psychopathology in adulthood. In J. Cassidy & P. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment (pp. 497–519). NY: Guilford Press.
Finzi, R., Cohen, O., Sapir, Y., & Weizman, A. (2000). Attachment styles in maltreated children: A comparative study. Child Development and Human Development, 31, 113–128.
Gauthier, L., Stollak, G., Messe, L., & Arnoff, J. (1996). Recall of childhood neglect and physical abuse as differential predictors of current psychological functioning. Child Abuse and Neglect, 20, 549–559.
Greenberg, M. (1999). Attachment and psychopathology in childhood. In J. Cassidy & P. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment (pp. 469–496). NY: Guilford Press.
Koren-Karie, N., Oppenheim, D., Dolev S., Sher, E., & Etzion-Carasso, E. (2002). Mothers’ insightfulness regarding their infants’ internal experience: Relations with maternal sensitivity and infant attachment. Developmental Psychology, 38, 534-542.
Lyons-Ruth, K., & Jacobvitz, D. (1999). Attachment disorganization: Unresolved loss, relational violence and lapses in behavioral and attentional strategies. In J. Cassidy & P. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment (pp. 520–554). NY: Guilford Press.
Main, M., & Cassidy, J. (1988). Categories of response to reunion with the parent at age six: Predictable from infant attachment classifications and stable over a one-month period. Developmental Psychology, 24, 415–426.
Main, M., & Hesse, E. (1990). Parents’ unresolved traumatic experiences are related to infant disorganized attachment status. In M. T. Greenberg, D. Ciccehetti & E. M. Cummings (Eds.), Attachment in the preschool years: Theory, research, and intervention (pp. 161–184). Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Malinosky-Rummell, R., & Hansen, D. J. (1993). Long-term consequences of childhood physical abuse. Psychological Bulletin, 114, 68–69.
Oppenheim, D., Koren-Karie, N., & Sagi, A. (2001). Mothers’ empathic understanding of their preschoolers’ internal experience: Relations with early attachment. International Journal of Behavioral Development., 25, 16-26.
Oppenheim, D. & Koren-Karie, N. (2002). Mothers’ Insightfulness Regarding their Children’s Internal Worlds: The capacity underlying secure child-mother relationships. Infant Mental Health Journal, 23(6), 593-605.
Oppenheim, D., Goldsmith, D., & Koren-Karie, N. (2005). Maternal Insightfulness and preschoolers’ emotion and behavior problems: Reciprocal influences in a day-treatment program. Infant Mental Health Journal.
Prino, C. T., & Peyrot, M. (1994). The effect of child physical abuse and neglect on aggressive withdrawn, and prosocial behavior. Child Abuse and Neglect, 18, 871–884.
Robins, L. N. (1978). Longitudinal studies: Sturdy childhood predictors of adult antisocial behavior. Psychological Medicine, 8, 611–622.
Schreiber, R., & Lyddon, W. J. (1998). Parental bonding and current psychological functioning among childhood sexual abuse survivors. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 45, 358–362.
Steele, M., Hodges, J., Kaniuk, J., Steele, H., Hillman, S., & Asquith, K., (2008). Forcasting Outcomes in Previously Maltreated Children. In H. Steele & M. Steele (Eds.), Clinical Applications of the Adult Attachment Interview (pp. 427-452). NY: Guilford.
Tags: Attachment, Facilitating, Parenting
Attachment Parenting the Best Parenting Practices
Feb 12, 2010 Attachment Parenting
Attachment parenting is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents.
Attachment parenting almost begs off having a name by its very definition. Also known as “instinctive parenting,” “intuitive parenting” and “natural parenting,” Attachment Parenting is fundamentally a relationship rather than a strategy, an act rather than a style.
The mission of Attachment Parenting is to promote parenting practices that create strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and their parents. I believe these practices nurture and fulfill a child’s need for trust, empathy, and affection, providing a lifelong foundation for healthy, enduring relationships.
Through education, support, advocacy and research, attachment parenting seeks to strengthen families and increase awareness of the importance of secure attachment, ultimately helping to reduce or prevent child abuse, behavioral disorders, criminal acts and other serious social problems.
Sensitive, responsive physical and emotional bonds between parents and their babies lie at the heart of attachment parenting. Seven basic “B’s” for parent/child pairs just getting started:
Birth bonding
Breastfeeding
Baby wearing
Bedding close to baby
Believing in the language value of your baby’s cry
Beware of baby trainers
Balance
Attachment parenting implies first opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby, and eventually you will develop the wisdom on how to make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both you and your baby. Do the best you can with the resources you have that’s all your child will ever expect of you.
The benefit of attachment parenting is intuitive parenting styles. Information on the Family Bed (co-sleeping), gentle discipline (positive, non-punitive and guidance oriented), “wearing” your baby and more.
So after all attachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, also known as a secure attachment, is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.
Many parents know they have a troubled teen on there hands, as these warning signs will help tell. The question many parents have is “What do I do!” or “what are my options? If you have any suggestions for how to improve this site or any questions pertaining to this site, feel free to go:
http://www.abundantlifeacademy.us
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It offers a wide variety of information pertaining to parenting teens in today’s society. They hope that the information presented on this site will be of some use to parents everywhere.
Tags: Attachment, Best, Parenting, Practices
Attachment PArenting (Agree?)
Feb 11, 2010 Attachment Parenting
Attachment parenting is a phrase first used by pediatrician William Sears. It is a parenting philosophy based on the attachment theory in developmental psychology.
According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, leads to secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.
In this theory, failure to form this early childhood parental bond can lead to disturbed and developmentally inappropriate ways of relating socially. The term “attachment parenting” is being co-opted by proponents of controversial parenting techniques.
According to Attachment Parenting International (API) there are 8 principles that foster healthy attachment between the parent and infant.
These eight principles are:
1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth andParenting 2. Feed with LoveandRespect 3. Respond withSensitivity 4. UseNurturingTouch 5. Ensure Safe Sleep 6. Consistent Loving Care 7. Positive Discipline 8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life There are no strict set of rules to follow, so parents can and do interpret these principles in many ways: such as natural child birth, breast feeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, homeschooling
One of the least controversial interpretations is baby wearing. Baby wearing is the practice of carrying your baby in a baby sling, baby backpack or other type of carrier. This allows the wearer to carry the baby hands free to do other things and helps the baby to be more involved in her surroundings. Many experts agree is practice helps your baby’s sense of well-being and development. Studies have shown that babies who are worn by their parents are more attached, more observant and as a result they cry less and learn quicker.
One of the most controversial practices is co-sleeping. Opponents argue that co-sleeping is stressful and dangerous for baby; a parent may smother the child and believe it raises the risk of SIDS. They also believe it promotes an unhealthy dependence on the parent and could interfere with the parents’ relationship to each other. In addition, they contend that this practice may interfere with the parents’ own relationship.
What do you think?
Tags: Agree, Attachment, Parenting
Discover a Potent Parenting Technique Called Attachment Parenting
Feb 9, 2010 Attachment Parenting
Raising children can be the most rewarding and most challenging job set before us in our lives. Everything you do shapes and moulds your child into who they are and who they become. We all want our children to be successful, feel loved and secure in themselves. Using a technique called attachment parenting, many are finding success.
What is attachment parenting? It’s the technique of creating a very strong bond with your child, one that offers them security and full sense of attachment between parent and child. It was discovered long ago that children long for the attachment of their parents and when they are held it produces a strong bond and a feeling of security. The bond created by attachment parenting not only benefits the child but also the parent’s inner child as well. Touch is a powerful tool.
Studies have been made of children who were snuggled and held and those who were not. The children who were raised with attachment parenting were happy, quiet, healthy, and grew faster with fewer health problems as well as emotional problems compared to those who were not held or given physical comfort by their parents. Those who were not held became frail, didn’t thrive, were often ill, and had to find other ways to soothe themselves, sometimes using food or other things to take the place of the love they were missing causing other health issues.
Some important aspects of attachment parenting involve several techniques. It is more than just touch and comfort. Attachment parenting involves caring and love while feeding, ensuring the bond is strong, by holding and looking at your infant with the love you feel, looking your baby in the eye, relaxing and letting yourself enjoy the amazing bundle you hold in your arms. When you hold your baby, ensure you are not stressed as this will be felt and interpreted by your child. Use nurturing touches to reassure your child and make that connection.
Another important component is to ensure your child has a stress free environment to sleep in. This aspect of attachment parenting involves co-sleeping. This is the technique that involves your child sleeping in your bed, not alone in a crib. The family bed can ensure comfort for all, parents and children. Children rest easily knowing that any fears or concerns can be easily dismissed by the safety of the “nest”. They know their parents are there to protect them and to comfort them if they have trouble sleeping.
One of the most important and often overlooked aspects are the methods in which you discipline your child. When utilizing attachment parenting, positive reinforcement is your best tool of discipline. Using the bond you have with your child, you can successfully enforce rules and boundaries by maintaining a positive environment in which your child can learn and thrive.
Many of the techniques involved are simple and easy to learn and implement within your family. You will find attachment parenting brings successful parenting and your children will be happy, loved and secure in themselves and who they are to become.
Tags: Attachment, Called, Discover, Parenting, Potent, Technique
Why Attachment Parenting so Important to Baby and How you Can Do it Right?
Feb 7, 2010 Attachment Parenting
Any new parent who has their first baby will understand that a baby desires to be loved and cared for 24/7. This shows that human are emotional creatures that needs love in order to survive. That is why attachment parenting is so important to a baby because this method of parenting is necessary to create that special bonding between you and your child immediately after birth.
Once a strong natural and biological attachment is formed, the infant will start to recognize the care giving qualities of the parent and will start to accepting world and life as something that is both beautiful and loving.
Why Attachment Parenting Works So Well In Getting To Know Baby Your Better?
To most parents, the first and most important activity in attachment attachment parenting is breastfeeding. This is no surprise because an infant is also hungry and the number one food that he or she desires the most is breast milk. During breastfeeding, the mother will start to more about the baby wants and needs through his or her body language. This helps to increase and improve the chemistry between the mother and the baby. Breast milk is also better than other animal milk such as cow because it contains brain building nutrients that are necessary for a human infant.
Holding the baby in one’s arm is also another popular form of attachment parenting. Again, a baby needs to be loved all day long. It may seem strange but just by holding the baby close to your arms, he or she will be quiet and content as if everything is alright and nothing can harm him or her. In fact, babywearing is so effective that people started to create a sling which is made of some sort of clothing to wear their babies. Research shows that the more you carry your baby, the less he or she will cry.
Why Baby Always Cry At Night?
It is a known fact that most babies feel extremely scared during the night and will cry out for help because they feel vulnerable without the parent. That is why it is recommended that you sleep close to your baby during the night so that the baby will have be in a fearless state and be able to fall asleep deeply. In fact, you can actually have a more restful sleep knowing that you are within nursing distance when your baby needs you the most.
Studies have show that crying is actually the only way a baby can communicate. Since an infant is pure and innocent, they do not manipulate you just to have your attention. By understand how to decipher your baby’s crying and body language, you will be able to tell accurately what he or she actually needs and thus improve the bond and attachment furthermore. Regardless, there are times when you need to know how to strike a balance between answering the needs of your baby and taking care of your health.
You can learn more about how to build a strong bond with your baby by reading the attachment parenting article.
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Tags: Attachment, Baby, Important, Parenting, Right
Parenting: Attachment Parenting Tools
Feb 6, 2010 Attachment Parenting
Attachment parenting (AP), a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, also known as a secure attachment, is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.Attachment parenting describes a parenting approach rooted in attachment theory. Attachment theory proposes that the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. In attachment theory, children attach to their parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other people to satisfy drives and attachment is part of normal child development.Dr. Sears’ attachment tools, also known as the seven B’s, is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents. The B’s include birth bonding, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, bedding close to baby, belief in the language value of your baby’s cry, beware of baby trainers and balance. Dr. Sears reminds the parents of his patients that AP is a starter style, and that there could be medical, environmental, or family circumstances that could prevent parents from practicing each of the seven B’s, and that they are to be a tool to get parents off on the right start. It’s not to be considered a strict set of rules, but encourages responsive parents by recognizing their baby’s cues and level of needs. He again emphasizes the phrase “tool” over “steps.” A tool can be individually chosen based on its usefulness, whereas a step implies that each must be used in a correct order to get the job done. He encourages parents to stick with what’s working and adjust those tools that aren’t. This process will help parents design their own parenting style unique to them that helps baby and parents plug into one another.
Tags: Attachment, Parenting, Tools
Attachment Parenting: Parenting in a Detached Society
Feb 5, 2010 Attachment Parenting
ATTACHMENT PARENTING: PARENTING IN A DETACHED SOCIETY
By Stephanie Lehane (January 2009)
There is a modern-day debate surrounding a centuries old practice that has been coined “attachment parenting”. To first understand the controversy, one must define the term attachment parenting. Attachment parenting is a way of child-rearing that serves as a guideline, rather than a rulebook, for parents to better understand the non-verbal communication they receive from their infants, babies, and children. At odds with this concept is the parenting style popularized at the beginning of the twentieth century and passed down for several generations since.
The three main modalities of attachment parenting as they relate to infants and babies are breastfeeding, babywearing, and co-sleeping. It seems the mere mention of any or all of these invites a plethora of advice and opinion. In the face of all of the scientific data pointing toward breastfeeding as the best form of nutrition for babies, women of previous generations will often advise that new mothers bottle-feed. This same troupe of well-intended matriarchs often tends to rally behind the concept that a baby, even an infant, can be spoiled. And of course nursing mothers who opt to co-sleep with their infants receive dire warnings of increased risk for SIDS and children who will be in high school still climbing into bed with mom and dad. Yet, for centuries, mothers out of instinct and necessity carried, cuddled, breastfed, and co-slept with their babies. It wasn’t until the advent of modern medicine and the advancements of science that mothers began to question their innate sensibilities in favor of advice from professionals, typically men, who would tell them that there is a new and improved way to raise a healthy baby.
THE CONTROVERSY
Breastfeeding
All mammals nurse their young. So why is this form of feeding and nurturing human babies controversial and how and when did it come under attack? To be sure, breastfeeding mothers have an easier time avoiding stares and unsolicited advice when they choose to feed their babies in public today than they did a decade ago. But some stigma still exists as a throwback to a more puritan, sterile era where doctors and formula companies alike, worked to convince society that not only was formula a better choice for babies, bottle-feeding was a more modest option for women. The first commercial baby formula was invented in 1860 by Henri Nestle in Switzerland and became popularized during the Industrial Revolution when women were leaving the home to work in factories. Bottle feeding reached its height in popularity during World War II with only 20-30% of women in the U.S. breastfeeding at all. Many women still choose to bottle feed their babies today as it is seen as a more convenient method, in spite of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ current recommendation to exclusively breastfeed infants for six months and continue to nurse through age one. However, breastfeeding is gaining in popularity during the Information Age where modern parents are growing confident in its overwhelming benefits for both baby and mother. According to renowned pediatrician and father of eight, Dr. William Sears, not only is breast milk a sound nutritional choice, but the act of breastfeeding itself encourages the bond between mother and child. In order to become successful at breastfeeding, mothers must be able to interpret baby’s cues and trust in their own instincts. Mothers become child-centered and focus on their babies’ needs and how to meet them. Likewise, baby is able to tap into and interpret her mother’s social signals and trust that her needs will be met. A symbiotic relationship develops wherein both parties to the breastfeeding partnership must ebb and flow together. Breastfeeding is often viewed as the first and most important aspect of attachment parenting.
Babywearing
Babywearing in all its various forms dates back to the origins of recorded history. Anthropologists have uncovered ancient etchings depicting women carrying their babies wrapped in cloth as they worked, walked, and cared for older children. Across cultural lines, many methods of wearing babies exists and a recently there has been a resurgence in popularity in the developed world. However, around the same time as breastfeeding began to decline, so did the art and practice of babywearing, particularly in the West, and for the same reasons. Mothers began to listen to the advice of their doctors who explained that holding and carrying their babies too much would lead to spoiled babies. All sorts of inventions and devices, such as strollers and playpens, began to emerge as places for women to put their babies so as not to spoil them. It took only a couple of generations to figure out that the opposite is actually true. Babies who don’t receive enough tactile stimulation from being held are less organized, cry more, and in extreme cases experience “failure to thrive” which means they do not grow and develop as they should. Recently, a Motrin ad was pulled because of the backlash from a new generation of babywearing moms and dads offended at the ads suggestion that babywearing is a new fad, something done to be seen as trendy and fashionable. These parents opine that carrying baby close to them is not only convenient, but is a wonderfully fulfilling way to build a bond with their baby. There are several different styles of babywearing devices such as slings, pouches, wraps and carriers and in some areas parents can find consultants to help them decide which style is best for them and their lifestyle.
Co-sleeping
This is perhaps the most controversial of all of the different areas of attachment parenting. Certainly, it may seem odd to western parents used to the concept of creating a separate nursery for baby, complete with crib, changing table, dresser, and rocking chair. Historically, co-sleeping, or the practice whereby infants, babies, and/or children sleep in the same bed with their parents, has been a common practice worldwide. Since the nineteenth century, this practice has decreased in popularity in North America, Europe, and Australia as separate sleeping arrangements became affordable and desirable. Among the reasons opponents of co-sleeping cite in favor of separate sleeping arrangements are the possibility that a parent could roll over and inadvertently crush or suffocate her baby, increased risk of SIDS, and the inability of older babies and children to become independent and sleep alone. However, recent research has shown significant benefits to babies and parents who co-sleep. Studies have shown that co-sleeping may actually reduce the risk of SIDS due to the baby mirroring his mothers breathing and sleep-cycle patterns. This is because a major factor in SIDS deaths may be the inability of babies to regulate their breathing, thereby actually “forgetting” to breathe. Additionally, babies in the family bed experience shorter and fewer deep-sleep states. This is important because prolonged states of deep sleep, such as occur after long bouts of crying or sleeping alone, are potentially another major cause of SIDS. (Note: co-sleeping is not recommended when parents smoke, use drugs or alcohol, or are obese). But the number one benefit proponents of co-sleeping cite is more sleep for all. The family bed may be particularly convenient for breastfeeding mothers who can easily resume nursing until both mother and child drift peacefully back to sleep. These mothers point out that there is no awakening to the piercing cries of a hungry baby, frightened and alone, adrenaline pumping for all as bottles are warmed and parents attempt to stay awake to feed him, only to have him re-awaken when returned to a cold crib sheet.
So it seems that modern parents are beginning to embrace the wisdom of ancient times. As tightly-knit communities wane in favor of loosely-knit networks, individuals are more connected and yet more alone. The paradox of today’s society is that it is both easier and more difficult than ever to be a successful parent. There is more information available to parents than at any time in history. Yet, information comes at a price: if not careful, it can take the place of instinct. In the end, the best approach for parents is to read, research, and understand available parenting methods and then trust themselves and their babies to do what is best.
Ref. Baby Matters, Dr. Linda Palmer
Askdrsears.com, Dr. William Sears
Breastfeeding in a Bottle Feeding Culture, Tina Rychlik
Wikipedia
Tags: Attachment, Detached, Parenting, Society